‘I held you in my arms, we kissed your soft, pinkish lips, we nuzzled your cheeks, your nose, your tiny ideal ears. we breathed in every in. of you. So hard, to let you go.’
This is how Laura Sheehan described the heartbreak of assembly her second son for the first and only time.
Baby Beau was ‘born sleeping’, as she described it, after his heartbeat stopped when she was already heavily pregnant.
She had just changed from Australia to France so her partner Brett could start personification veteran rugby with a French team. They couldn’t wait to meet their second child, a hermit for Brody (nicknamed the Hurricane).
But Laura sensed that something was wrong when her baby stopped moving one day late on in her pregnancy. Instead of feeling unchanging kicks and fidgeting, she would only feel a complicated kind of rolling, when she herself moved.
Sharing her story on her blog The Whole Mummy, she said: ‘I suspicion to myself he must just be sleeping, it had been a big active day of outmost rocking and rolling the pacific still is just as relaxing, calm for him. Initially having no movement, alarm bells soft, muffled they didn’t ring, he was always still my peaceful little soul, we had turn accustomed to the slower gait he lived by compared to the consistent whirlwind of his big brother,’ she said.
But as the hours wore on she became some-more and some-more concerned.
‘Going to bed that night my physique ached with the creeping, crawling angst of fear, of worry, of sour yearning, ‘please just let me know you are ok’.
As shortly as they could they organised a doctor’s appointment to check on the baby.
‘Everything slowed around me, looking at my husband we could still see carefree fun on his face, still just happy to finally see his boy, intrigued, the Hurricane wriggling and wrestling in his arms, we feel a hand, soft, somber, delicate, take mine, looking, the doctors eyes, sad, meet cave and drumming on his chest we hear him contend the difference ‘non le coeur‘ …no heartbeat.’
As the pregnancy was at such a late stage, Laura had to give birth to her son despite meaningful that she would never be means to take him home.
Writing on her blog, she shared photographs of the only time she was means to cuddle and lick her son, in a prolonged and moving comment of how to feels to contend goodbye too early.
For the full account, click here.