Today, 15 March, 2017, my editor told me about an app called Hero Boyfriend.
Today, 15 March, 2017, we lost my sh*t at pronounced app.
‘Hello, hero,’ proclaims Hero Boyfriend’s website. ‘I know how to make your attribute reduction boring!’
The app is designed to help men be shining boyfriends to their womanlike partners. It does this not by suggesting accessible tips such as ‘don’t be a f***ing dickhead’ or ‘love and honour your partner’, but by behaving as a arrange of personal assistant, recommending events to take your partner along to and gifts to buy her.
Because the pivotal to a good attribute is shopping your womanlike partner gifts, naturally.
And organising dates. Not dates you suspicion of yourself, mind you. Dates endorsed to you by an app, since an app is some-more means of selecting a date that’ll greatfully your partner than you are.
Which begs the question: why, if you’re so dedicated to being a good boyfriend, would you rest on an app instead of just making a bloody effort?
Surely adore is about things like spontaneity, thoughtfulness, meaning.
The best gifts are selected since they meant something to the person you’re giving them to. They’re personal. They’ll bring them fun for a specific reason.
The best dates are tailored to the person you’re dating, selected with their interests and preferences in mind.
These things are about making a tiny bid to do something good for your partner. Using an app to do that? It’s bloody good cheating, and it just shows how little you actually care.
But my issue with this app goes way over that (yes, the fact that I’m moany and hatred the infancy of attribute and sex improving apps plays into it).
Being an tangible ‘hero boyfriend’ is not just about dates and gifts. It’s not about element things or scoring points.
A proper, adult attribute is not counted in the means of selecting a cold thing to do every weekend or send a good garland of flowers. It’s formed in things like trust, communication, being means to giggle at the same foolish fun for over an hour.
Suggesting that all it takes is a few imagination date venues and a garland of flowers to be a ‘hero’ boyfriend is sum nonsense.
And don’t even get me started on the fact that this app focuses only on Hero Boyfriends.*
*Alright, I’ll do it quickly: It’s not the man’s shortcoming to organize dates and buy gifts. Relationships are about equality. Outdated gender roles are dumb. That’s all.
The creator of Hero Boyfriend pronounced he was desirous to make the app after his 12 year attribute ended.
‘Turns out we had been vital in denial,’ he told Daily Mail Australia.
‘For years my beliefs and poise just didn’t line up. Important events? Forgot ’em. Attention and affection? Nope, no time for that. Surprising gifts or artistic dates? Not a chance.
‘After much thoughtfulness it occurred to me that there’s a opening between what women design and what many guys deliver.’
Which creates sense. He recognized his attribute mistakes and is now trying to come up with a way to fix them.
But what the issue boils down to is simple: we shouldn’t need apps to be decent human beings.
You shouldn’t need an app reminding you that you haven’t had a date in a while. You should be means to make time for any other.
You shouldn’t need an app revelation you to buy your partner flowers to make her feel desired – you should be making her feel desired day-to-day.
If you’re struggling to remember critical events, that’s an issue. Clearly, what’s critical to your partner isn’t that critical to you.
If you can’t be worried to give courtesy and affection, and can only pattern up adequate bid to daub a few buttons on your phone when an app tells you to, the attribute you’re in substantially isn’t that stellar.
The fix for attribute issues isn’t this app. This app is just a smear for bigger cracks. You’re not actually being a Hero Boyfriend, you’re just relying on an app to tell you what to do.
And that’s shit.
I’m sleepy of the judgment of relying on to get simple human things done.
Use it for to-do lists. Use it for emails. Use it to sequence groceries.
Don’t use record as a way to concede yourself to slick over the critical stuff, or as a deputy for things you should be means to do alone.
If you need the Hero Boyfriend to be a decent partner in a relationship, your problems may be too big to fix with a garland of flowers or a list at a sushi restaurant. Put down your phone and arrange it the f*** out.