Alan is looking for love.
But he doesn’t wish just any partner – he wants to find the Ideal Woman.
And to do so, he’s set up a website.
He’s a 37-year-old mechanism scholarship grad who says that after confronting certain ‘substantial lifestyle changes’, he is ‘slowly trying to find my way out of the rat-race and we would like to find a partner who we can share the rest of my existence with’.
Alan tells Metro.co.uk: ‘In my early 30s, after having had some disastrous practice in relations and still not meaningful what we wanted in life, we told myself to start from blemish – inventory the things we didn’t want’.
‘So, we drafted a brief list which we kept updating every year or so until it became an essay.’
And that letter forms the basement of what Alan is looking for in his Ideal Woman, some of which is here:
Alan is only human and as such, wants a prohibited girlfriend.
‘Although oriented to find for an middle beauty, we still can’t detach myself from the human law of earthy attraction, which is simply fatal,’ he says.
‘First things first, she should not be overweight and (should be) deferential towards her body, at slightest trying to eat healthy food and sportive sometimes.
‘Someone who is preferably around my age but not indispensably – I’d order out some-more than a 10 year age gap.
‘I’d prefer exemplary outfits, or nineties trends with high waist pants and we don’t quite like super skinny high heels.’
But fear not coffee/tobacco/coke fiends – he’s ok with you dabbling so prolonged as you don’t turn a full blown addict.
You’ve got to be smooth in English but you’ve also got to be means to pronounce a second language.
‘I apparently couldn’t be together with extraneous females who can just consider about career, fashion, holidays, owning things and have shoal conversations.’
‘I would be looking for a lady who is a free thinker, open minded, free from social constrictions or feign ethics and of march a lady who does not trust in any God but in herself and her receptive settlement formed on empirical, systematic and philosophical knowledge.’
Not only that, but he wants someone who knows what ‘cosmic pain’ is (so, I’m out) and who has ‘experienced pang adequate to see the definition of life in depth’.
Alan wants to spend many of his time with his new partner doing all kinds of things which means, I’m afraid, no one who has a job.
‘I wouldn’t be means to accept a attribute with a wage-slave of a 9-to-5. In fact, we will never be means to mount a attribute where we can see my other half only during the night after work. we strongly depreciate employees and the corporate genius so it would be an glorious thought to work together, start a business from scratch.’
AND THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.
To recap, if this is you, Alan doesn’t wish you to hit him:
Now, many dudes who wish a good looking partner are ok with them fondness fashion. But for Alan, that’s a genuine no-no – as is having a job, since careers and garments = superficiality.
‘Even Coco Chanel pronounced that conform fades, but character remains. Women who follow conform are unfailing to blur together with their bad self awareness,’ Alan explains.
‘Actually being extraneous is not about aiming for a better pursuit or complicated clothing, but deliberation them a priority in your life. Women who have unsuccessful to be feminine, build a celebrity or are not emotionally intelligent, turn uncertain adequate to find a gentle position in a pursuit where there is someone else revelation them what to do.
‘This is what they call independence: the probability of earning just adequate to spend their income on a lease for a place they actually use to nap only, on weekends, pretended dine-outs and tacky wardrobe paid twice the cost of exemplary clothing. Only few women have adequate abyss to use their free time to hunt on google “how to start your own business” , or learn about story instead of examination videos of cats and babies on Facebook or bond intellectually with few friends instead of accumulating hundreds of contacts only means of spending time at the pub getting drunk.
‘Times goes by and earlier or after this opinion creates a lady diseased adequate to live in the rejection that she does not need a man in her life. we do not wish to generalise (of march not, Alan!), but you get that picture when you demeanour at masses.’
Ok so we get it – NO CAREER WOMEN.
But what’s the understanding with not being means to run or float a bicycle?
‘Anthropologically speaking, would you call yourself a human being, if you can’t even swim, run or have a smallest control over your body?’ he says.
When it comes to not being means to drive, he asks how one can call themselves eccentric if you’ve set such a ‘low value to leisure of movement’.
With such a prolonged list of demands, it sounds like Alan could be in for a prolonged wait. He says that he hasn’t had a possibility to go out with anyone he’s met by his site nonetheless but he has got a few messages from women.
However, ‘it seemed that those who wrote to me just review what they favourite to review or illusory me’, he laments.
So there we are.
Ladies – if you can run, drive, have no seductiveness in conform or a career, are not overweight, don’t wish kids and can pronounce some-more than one language, Alan still single.