We all like compliments.
Especially if they come while we’re exposed and trying the best.
Sadly, when humans are concentrating on getting their rocks off or are recently ‘spent’, they have a bent to contend the first thing that comes into their head.
We’ve all listened of honeyed nothings but the following are the accurate conflicting of that.
Today, 15 people exhibit the misfortune thing someone has pronounced to them mid-bone (or immediately after). Some of these may leave you wanting to cry into your pillow.
After a successful Tinder date, we went back with the man – we had sex, and thereafter we joked, ‘Best first date ever.’
To which he replied, ‘Best last date ever.’
So that was that.
He stroked my face. Looked me in the eye and said, ‘Bloop, bloop, bloop – adore bubbles.’
Immediately after he asked if he could put it up my arse.
‘That was s***.’
It wouldn’t have been that bad, only we was in a backpacker’s dorm at the time and my friends all heard.
I’ve never lived it down.
‘I can’t trust we haven’t had sex for 4 weeks!’
We had, a couple of times, he just didn’t remember.
‘Sorry, we have to stop. You remind me of my sister.’
I don’t know what was worse. Her meditative we looked like a girl, or her watchful until we were totally exposed to make the announcement.
Do you mind not looking at me. I’m trying to concentrate.
‘Don’t lift that face. It creates you demeanour like Mr Bean.’
Which was accompanied by so much wild delight we had to stop.
In her defence, we do kind of demeanour like Mr Bean.
Timed with my thrusts…
‘Don’t come in me, don’t come in me, don’t come in me… Come in me!’
I fell defunct post one-night mount only to be jarred awake…
‘Wake up and make me come, or f*** off.’
I had no choice. we woke up and got the pursuit done.
A girl once asked me because we was being so noisy. That was embarrassing.
‘I’ve overtly never seen balls so tiny.’
‘I consider we just wee’d in you.’
It was with my first boyfriend. We had to stop so we could Google either that was even possible.
‘Do you mind if we go on top – you’re pulling on my stomach and we had a curry earlier.’
‘I’m gonna be sick.’
As he pronounced the word ‘sick’, his anticipation came true. He was on top.
‘Without a doubt, that’ll go down as one of the top 5 misfortune shags of my whole life.’
When we protested…
‘You can’t overtly consider that was good! What’s wrong with you?’
A man doesn’t redeem simply from such a bad review.