Alright, Tesco. You did it. You managed to surpass MS in the weird crisps game. You actually came up with a gratifying frail essence even some-more disturbing that prosecco. Well done.
Tesco is now selling candy shaft crisps.
We repeat: crisps that are ostensible to ambience like candy cane.
Candy canes, if you didn’t know, ambience like sugar and mint.
So essentially, these are minty, sweetened crisps. And that, my crisp-loving friends, is just plain wrong.
‘Hand baked crisps seasoned and dusted with a honeyed peppermint pepper for a honeyed and tainted ambience experience,’ reads the product description, clearly preoccupied to just how awful this sounds.
Stop this now, @Tesco. pic.twitter.com/JXeQ27buFT
— Elliot Hackney (@ElliotHackney) Oct 6, 2017
The crisps themselves are not red and white striped, sadly, but instead have a somewhat pinkish tinge.
They’re on sale now at Tesco, since when else would you wish to assimilate potato flavoured with candy canes than in October, right?
Oh, and a big bag is £1. So you won’t have to compensate too much if you’re unfortunate to fill your mouth with tainted peppermint.
We shall of march be getting the hands on a bag over the weekend, and will refurbish this story with the thoughts once we’ve tried them. Wish us luck.