It’s National Tea Day, that is apparently a unequivocally vicious and vicious day, not slightest since we have to disagree about which biscuit is a ideal match to go with your brew.
Let’s not go on about usually how vicious tea is to a British identity.
It’s like bowler hats in a approach – nobody wears them (except ostentatious American Will.i.am) and everybody drinks coffee yet it will still, forever, be a British thing.
Tea seems to be during risk of apropos cold and niche now, that is a bit of a shame, not slightest since coffee is awful and smells like a damaged heart on a barbecue.
Anyway, let’s get to a vicious stuff. It’s time to arrange teas. Prepare to quarrel me.
Have we ever been distant from home, in a hotel room with liner-less fate and a drizzling daub and controversial stains on a coverlet?
Then we think, maybe creation a tea with a hilariously little kettle competence remind we of your Nan – it’s a arrange of thing she’d do – and assistance we feel better.
Well good fitness with that, since conspicuous tea will fundamentally be Lipton, dampner of spirits, mocker of ambience buds, crusher of holiday dreams.
It is worse than tea, it delivers a guarantee of tea usually to separate in your somewhat sad, homesick face with a clearly un-tealike taste.
If there was a place next a finish of a finish of a list it would be there yet there isn’t so it’s here.
Go divided and splash a fruit tea and consider about what you’ve done.
Yes! That’s right! They unequivocally do still make this!
Doesn’t like to acknowledge it enjoys being dipped in prohibited H2O on a unchanging basis.
No, no, it cries, demeanour during me, we have a stately warrant, see, her sovereignty Queen Elizabeth II herself has allocated me to her house.
I’m not like those other teas. It’s conspicuous bouquet.
The tea of unsatisfactory tea shops with strict doilies and grated cheese and onion sandwiches on white bread, of stale, underwhelming tea cakes ‘for a treat,’ of cover in a window mirror grouting, of tiny passed flies on a sill.
It’s still unequivocally most tea though, so will do in a flask on a manager outing to The Deep during a push.
The good man of a tea universe who your Mum thinks we should substantially marry yet who you’ll never marry since honestly he’s too f***ing tedious for words.
A Waitrose emporium tea, a Labrador Retriever tea, a immature welly and headscarf tea.
In short, not utterly an bland tea, notwithstanding a claim.
I don’t know about you, yet a categorical reason we splash tea is to solid my nerves.
Steadying a nerves is a third of a indicate of tea (the others apparently being ‘having something to comfortable your hands with while examination Loose Women’ and ‘having an forgive to leave a room when your uncle starts carrying a same evidence with your hermit during Christmas’).
Anyway, for decent nerve-steadying we don’t wish bags that cost £1 any or fancy-schmantzy brands.
You wish possess code tea – hot, strong, with 3 sugars.
This is a best tea.
My deepest sympathies if we are so untaught in a celebration of customary renouned British teas that we incorrectly trust any other to be superior.