An unnamed moody attendant suggested secrets of the
trade in an talk with Vice.
She says nobody switches off their phones on planes,
not even staff members.
There’s also an ideal time for joining the mile-high
club, she says — but there’s never a good time to sequence coffee
in the sky.
She says there’s only one way to measure an upgrade, and
it’s all about negotiate power.
There’s something intriguing about the life of airline crew
members. Maybe it’s the primitive uniform, the jet-setting
lifestyle, or the secret codes and signs. But people in the
attention mostly contend the pursuit is nowhere nearby as glamorous as it
Confirming that is an unnamed moody attendant at a “major
American airline” who suggested some fantastically humorous — and
outrageous — truths about life in the air in an talk with Vice.
The moody attendant, whom Vice gave the pseudonym Betty, gave an
honest comment of some of the hapless realities behind the
‘Nobody turns off their phones’
Betty says not all people reside by the instruction to spin off
their phones before takeoff.
“Nobody turns off their phones,” she told Vice. “I don’t, even.
“All of those commands are really just precautionary. You’re not
allowed to get up when taxiing to the gate, but we’re going 3
miles an hour. What’s actually going to happen?”
She added: “I theory at some point, something had to have happened
for them to have done the rule. At least, that’s the bulls—
forgive they gave us during training. Some time, at some point,
someone did get hurt.
“I mean, we pull it. we don’t always wear my seatbelt. Actually,
one time we didn’t wear it, the alighting was flattering severe and I
jerked brazen and hit my head, so we felt like a bit of an
“Yeah, but keep your phone on. No one cares.”
If you wish to join the mile-high club, do it during food or
For passengers looking to have a little fun while aboard, Betty
says there’s a best time to try to join the mile-high bar —
at slightest on tiny airplanes.
“Wait for service, when the attendants are all in the aisle,” she
said. “Everyone’s bustling and has a pursuit at that point, and we don’t
caring what’s going on behind me then. There could be 10 people in
the lavatory and we wouldn’t be wakeful of it.”
This substantially wouldn’t work on a jumbo jet, though, where she
says organisation members are dedicated to patrolling the toilets.
“For shorter flights, the attendants aren’t examination you like you
consider we are,” she said. “We’re on the phones in the back with
the others or doing the jobs. We don’t wish to be nearby that
lavatory at any indicate in time, and we’ll equivocate it at all costs.”
However, she added: “Godspeed if you’re gonna try and have sex in
one. They’re outrageous and small, but it is possible.”
A craft lavatory is the ‘most outrageous place on the planet’ …
On the theme of loos, she’s also not tender by how
passengers use them.
“It’s crazy how unwashed people are on planes,” she told Vice.
“Those bathrooms are the many outrageous places on the planet.
There’s no way these people act this way in their normal lives,
but they get on a craft and go cool, I’ll just pee all over the
building and dump my peanuts right on the ground.”
… and the coffee could be swimming with E. coli
Betty says there’s another outrageous aspect of flying: the
“Don’t splash the coffee on airplanes,” she said. “It’s the same
beverage water that goes by the lavatory system.
“We recently had a test for E. coli in the water, and it didn’t
pass, and then upkeep came on and hit a couple buttons and
it passed,” she continued. “So equivocate any prohibited water or tea.
Bottled and ice is fine, of course.”
Annoying passengers get ignored
If a newcomer gets on her nerves, Betty has a few methods of
traffic with them, she told Vice.
“Usually, we spend the infancy of my time just ignoring them,”
she said. “You don’t really have much to work with, so it becomes
a energy play.
“I try to claim myself as much as probable and let them know I’m
the boss by not giving them their orange extract with ice, or
giving it to them with ice if they asked for no ice. Weak pours
for drinks, things like that.”
She says that to kill time on a long, boring flight, she’ll often
play “who we would save first.”
“Like in the instance of an emergency landing,” she said.
“Obviously get the kids off first and all that.”
She added: “You spend a lot of time daydreaming, a lot of time
staring at your passengers and mentally putting them in
situations with you that would never happen.”
A free upgrade can be as elementary as giving candy to the crew
And finally, it wouldn’t be an airline talk but asking
the one blazing doubt everybody has: How can we measure a free
Her answer: just be additional good to the organisation once the doors have
“Give me candy, and I’ll give you whatever you want,” she told
Vice. “You blemish my back, I’ll blemish yours.”
She added: “If there’re seats open in business class, and it’s
not going to impact me negatively, or there are first-class seats
open and we can still eat my first-class dish if we put you up
there, I’ll put you up there. As prolonged as you’re good to me, no
Oh, and moody attendants apparently “don’t keep count of those
mini bottles of alcohol,” she said.