We’re all a little bit dissapoint about the Great British Bake Off.
If we don’t like the Channel 4 version, we’ve lost one of the biggest joys of British TV.
If we do like it, it’s like we’re going to Disneyland with the dad’s new wife and coming home wearing the T-shirt she bought us.
Basically, fondness the new Bake Off competence as good meant kicking Sue in the shins, jabbing Mel in the ribs and attack Mary with a left hook.
Luckily, if the rumours about a certain catchphrase are true, we competence not have to worry too much. Prue Leith, who I’m customarily a large fan of, is apparently walking around the tent uttering a word that should never, ever be allowed in there.
‘It’s not worth the calories’ is apparently Prue Leith’s maxim. Which, we consider we can all agree, has literally no place in the tent.
GBBO is a no calorie zone. You wish to make a 9 egg cake, fill it with cream and top it with ganache? Great!
You wish to make a fritter primarily from lard and then give it a large tasty stuffing (oo-er) then that’s just golden.
The first order of Bake bar is that we don’t discuss calories.
GBBO is, and always has been, about escapism. It’s about the human constraint to watch a routine and see a result. It’s the ideal televisual slip from summer into autumn.
We don’t wish it to be real, or practical, or sensible. We positively don’t wish it to be tarred by genuine life.
No one wanted to watch the expel of Gossip Girl doing their taxation returns. Twilight would have been busted by a extensive stage where Bella did her calculus homework. If EL James had created a stage where Ana and Christian have good neat sex and then get a really good night’s sleep, we’d have been sad.
We’ve all had that crony who looks at a list groaning with tasty food and gets her MyFitnessPal out, and we all know how much it booty things.
Going to cooking with someone who’s trying to estimate how many grams of pasta she’s eaten is miserable. I’d disagree that it’s not even excusable to try and create a community ‘gosh aren’t we naughty!’ view among your associate diners.
Calories have a place in life. They’re a useful(ish) guideline about what you’re eating. Broadly speaking we should be wakeful of how many we’re eating on an normal day, and to try and keep it in the endorsed range.
We should also be unwavering of eating adequate vitamins and minerals to keep healthy. We all know that.
So on an normal day, maybe asking yourself ‘is it worth the calories’ competence have some use. It’s true, there’s no indicate in eating something rarely calorific if you’re not going to enjoy it, if you have the option to eat something else instead.
But there are places where calories have no place. Birthday dinners. Christmas day. Holidays. Sunday lunches with friends. Long awaited trips to restaurants with your family. And the Bake Off falls into that category.
The smashing thing about GBBO is that it revels in cake, in a universe which tells us we’re fat and diseased and being killed by sugar and dairy. For one hour (or rather, 75 mins now it has adverts) we don’t consider about work or school or the waistlines.
We shun into a universe of blithe anticipation where it’s normal to make a cake that looks like a peacock, and trustworthy that you yourself competence one day bake an tangible fritter of bread.
Food, nourishment and calories have turn a battle belligerent over the last few decades, and the Bake Off tent has turn one of the last sanctuaries from that.
We competence have done a million jokes about GBBO moving homes, but the program is an establishment of escapism and self care. Perhaps it’s stupid to report a baking program as ‘important’, but truly. It is.
We realize that this is Channel 4 and it’s going to be different. We’re trying to be brave.
We can cope with the adverts. We’ll try to be stoic about the new presenters. But please, let’s not start throwing the C word around.